Hari the Hadron

Thursday, April 27, 2006

HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGERS – THE MOST LOVED AND HATED

The month of April has arrived and the salary increment virus is spreading like forest fire all over the organisation. The Management are devising strategies to finalise that minimum increment that would be just enough to keep the employees hold on to their jobs. And the employees are devising strategies to get demand the maximum increment points upto which the Management would prefer to keep them hired.

The other day I was discussing with my HRD Chief to decide on the proposals in this regard and he told me that magnitude of his role is directly proportional to the gap between the expectations of the employees and the generousity of the Management. Larger the gap, bigger the role and more space for getting hit.

He sent me a mail which he had received on how to do a selfless performance appraisal. It was very interesting so I decided to post it to make you all think twice before you go to your HR Manager for a performance appraisal.

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying “Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day.”.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.

So guys do your homework well before you go to your HR Department.

7 Comments:

  • Hi Everybody,please feel free to comment. Even criticism would be a compliment.

    By Blogger hari, at 10:11 PM  

  • Smart A$$ HR Manager, but it is often overlooked in the HR circle that you are employed and paid to work for 8 hrs in a day and not 24 hrs !!! You shdnt call yourself getting X Rs / day rather X Rs/hour and your are bound to work only for 40 hrs / a day.
    Now, I can actually produce a conversation where in I can eat into the profits of the entire company if I start calculating an hourly basis and compund that with my hourly pay !!! Gosh, that reminds me, I work 12 hrs a day - and give 4 hrs of free work !!!

    By Blogger Enchanted Mind, at 11:48 PM  

  • that shd be 40 hr/ week

    By Blogger Enchanted Mind, at 12:08 AM  

  • Hari..Romba calculation panniteenga pola...then wat wud we get for all those extra hours that we put in for r work..Gosh..then r salaries wud all be more than 5 digits per month!! Wow..tat wud look nice!!

    By Blogger Shiv, at 12:38 AM  

  • The calculation is wrong from start.
    "
    Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
    Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

    Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
    Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
    "
    After this the calculation for deducting weekends is wrong since the calculation should be for working days only. However deductions for public holidays @ 10 days per year could be allowed which brings the total working days per year to 112.(122-10)

    Further deducting 2 weeeks of sick leave the total comes to 102 (112-10).

    So your HR manager is definetly wrong or belongs to the Dilbert "Catbert" HR type !
    So watch out ! :)

    By Blogger Hari, at 3:32 AM  

  • Hi Bala & Shiv,

    Thats why I said the HR is also the most hated department. They by compulsion have to put the management attitude in their work.

    Hi Harry,

    You are a smart worker. But not all employees are able to show the same smartness and presence of mind in front of their HR Managers, who at the time of increment literally step into the shoes of the Senior Management.

    By Blogger hari, at 10:20 PM  

  • Hari,
    Good one. Same holds good for all the employees including the HR manager :).
    If we don't we any work, who is delivering the product on time and how PMs are calculating man hours for a project :).

    By Blogger REFLEX, at 7:16 AM  

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